loganandliz.com: the mishaps of the mr. and mrs.

This past weekend, we made the pilgrimage to the suburbs to hit up one of my favorite places, Ikea. I was talked into this only because we had to return an item, and our 90 day limit was rapidly approaching. Of course, there was no way Liz was going to leave Ikea without spending a dollar or two. Or 50.

We made our way to the checkout lanes, which were incredibly long. We opted for the self -checkout/U-Scan/whatever Ikea calls it lanes. I managed to find one that was short-ish, and had us waiting only behind one couple. However, this couple committed a couple of violations of The Laws of U-Scan Usage. These laws may be unwritten. Until now.

The Laws of U-Scan Usage

1. It’s Quality That Counts
   Contrary to popular belief, cashiers are highly trained individuals. On many occasions, I have been eyewitness to U-Scan shoppers that can’t seem to get items to properly scan. Here’s a helpful how-to hint: it’s the bar code that harbors the price of the item. This is often times found on the bottom or side of the item’s packaging.
2. But Quantity Also Counts
   This should be common sense, but Express Lanes are typically designated for shoppers with 10 items or less. This allows the specially-trained cashier to complete sales transactions expeditiously, which keeps the line constantly moving. Get it, Express Lane? Having said that, regular shoppers are likely not trained in the complex scan, bag, pay and change-tending process as aforementioned cashiers. Therefore, any shopper with more than 10 items should not even give consideration to the U-Scan checkout process.
3. No Weigh Should That Happen
   Produce items are typically sold by weight. Therefore, the system must receive input as to what type of produce is being purchased, and then the produce must be weighed to calculate the purchase price. Fortunately, this complex process has been streamlined and made more efficient with the progression of technology. Unfortunately, this technology is apparently far too advanced for the average Joe Shopper. If you have any item that needs weighed, stick to the full-service lanes. The same applies to any other special purchases–including, but not limited to–lottery tickets, cigarettes, alcohol, bags of ice, water softener salt pellets, etc.
4. Don’t be an oxy-moron
   The technology of bar codes, digital display screens, a scale in the bagging area that recognizes item weight by UPC scanned. These are all very advanced technologies that have allowed for the creation of the U-Scan checkout. Don’t opt for all of those upgrades, and then try to pay via cash. We’ve all been the victim of a vending machine that wouldn’t take the wrinkly dollar from our pocket. It’s one of the worst things that can ever happen to you. And it’s only worsened by the attempt to feed multiple bills to pay for your groceries. As for exact change, save that for the pay phone.

By following The Laws of U-Scan Usage, you can contribute to a more positive shopping experience for the entire population.

Posted by logan on Wednesday, March 19th, 2008 at 8:15 am.